Let’s talk about money, shall we?
I’m Sarah. I’ve been in this finance racket for 22 years. I’ve seen alot of things, and honestly, most of it’s depressing. But that’s a story for another time.
You know what I’m tired of? So-called experts. The ones who tell you to ‘just budget’ or ‘invest in this hot new thing’ like it’s that simple. I mean, come on. It’s 2023, and people are still falling for this crap.
So, I’m gonna tell you about the time I learned more about money from a barista than from any ‘guru.’
It started with a latte
About three months ago, I was at this little coffee shop in Mumbai. Let’s call the barista Marcus. He’s this guy, right? Maybe 25, tattoos, probably thinks he knows everything. But here’s the thing—he kinda does.
I was complaining about my portfolio (because that’s what us finance nerds do). And he’s like, ‘Sarah, you’re overcomplicating things. Just invest in what you understand. And for God’s sake, stop checking your phone every 5 minutes.’
Which… yeah. Fair enough.
Marcus didn’t have a fancy degree or a fancy title. But he had common sense. And that’s more than I can say for some of the ‘experts’ out there.
Here’s the thing about money
It’s not rocket science. It’s not some big secret that only a select few can understand. It’s basic. You spend less than you make. You invest the rest. You don’t panic when the market dips. You don’t go all-in on the latest crypto craze because some influencer told you to.
But here’s where I’m gonna sound like a broken record: budgeting is boring. I know, I know. It’s not sexy. It’s not exciting. But it’s necessary. And if you can’t stick to a budget, you’re gonna struggle. Period.
I’ll tell you a secret—even I struggle with it sometimes. Last Tuesday, I was at this conference in Austin, and I blew $87 on lunch. $87! On lunch! I could’ve fed a small village in some countries with that. But no, I had to have the steak. And the wine. And the dessert. Because, hey, I’m at a conference, right?
Look, I’m not perfect. Nobody is. But the point is, I recognized my mistake. I ammended my ways. And I moved on.
Investing: keep it simple, stupid
You know what else Marcus told me? ‘Invest in index funds. It’s the simplest way to grow your money.’ And you know what? He’s right. Index funds are like the blue jeans of investing—basic, reliable, and they never go out of style.
But here’s the thing about index funds—they’re boring. They don’t make for exciting dinner party conversation. You won’t impress your friends with tales of your index fund adventures. But you know what? That’s okay. Because while they’re out there chasing the next big thing, you’ll be slowly and steadily building wealth.
And hey, if you’re feeling adventurous, diversify a little. Throw some bonds in there. Maybe a bit of real estate. But for the love of all that is holy, do not put all your eggs in the crypto basket. I mean, I guess if you’re okay with the possibilty of losing it all, then go for it. But I’m not here to enable bad decisions.
Digital detox, anyone?
Speaking of bad decisions, let’s talk about our phones. I don’t know about you, but I’m physically addicted to mine. It’s like a digital pacifier. And it’s killing our financial committment.
I read this dijital detoks pratik rehber the other day. It was all about how constantly checking your phone can lead to impulsive spending. And honestly, it hit home. I’m guilty of this. I’ll be scrolling through Instagram, see something I ‘need,’ and next thing I know, I’m at checkout.
So, here’s my challenge to you: put your phone down. For an hour. A day. A week. See what happens. I’m not saying it’s gonna be easy. But it’s a start.
A quick tangent: why I hate crypto
Okay, I gotta vent. Crypto. Ugh. Look, I’m not gonna pretend to understand it. And that’s the problem. It’s this big, complicated thing that only a handful of people truly get. And those people are making bank off of everyone else’s FOMO.
I had this colleague, Dave. He’s a smart guy. Really smart. But even he got sucked into the crypto vortex. He was talking about ‘blockchain this’ and ‘decentralized that,’ and I was like, ‘Dave, I have no idea what you’re saying.’
And that’s the thing—if you can’t explain it simply, you probably don’t understand it well enough to be investing in it. So, do yourself a favor and stay away. At least until you can explain it to your grandma.
Final thoughts (kinda)
So, there you have it. My ramblings on money, investing, and why you should probably listen to your barista more than some ‘financial guru.’
Remember, it’s not about getting rich quick. It’s about making smart decisions, sticking to your budget, and investing in things you understand. And for the love of all that is holy, put your phone down.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a date with a budget spreadsheet. Wish me luck.
About the Author: Sarah Johnson is a senior editor with over 22 years of experience in the finance industry. She’s written for major publications and has a love-hate relationship with spreadsheets. When she’s not obsessing over budgets, she can be found complaining about crypto at her local coffee shop.
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